An expectant mom shared some “baby name” drama on Reddit’s “Am I the A*****e” subreddit on November 8 — immediately garnering scores of strong comments from the community.
Explaining that she’s expecting a baby with her husband, the 27-year-old woman said her sister-in-law, 34, has four kids with a fifth baby on the way.
“She is the definition of a ‘crunchy’ mom,” she said of her sister-in-law, adding that her sister-in-law homeschools her children, is vegan, does not allow electronics in the home and has all-natural clothes and toys for her kids.
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The Reddit poster also said that her sister-in-law “wanted her kids to have unique names and not basic names.”
She continued, “All her kids have ridiculous names.” She then listed them, with their phonetic pronunciations: “Baryleen” (pronounced Bryalin), “Falkin” (pronounced Falcon), “Rorai” (pronounced Rorie) and “Kelvin” (pronounced Calvin).
“My sister-in-law asked me what my opinion was [of] her naming her next baby ‘Astra,’ ‘Inky’ or ‘Lore,’” she continued.
In contrast, the poster said she and her husband are planning to name their child — due in a few months — the more common “James.” That’s when the sister-in-law then went on “a rant” about how the poster’s baby is “going to have a basic name and not be memorable.”
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The Reddit poster pushed back. “I told her she was naming kids, not dogs, and [that] her kids are going to hate their names once they get older,” she wrote.
“She got really mad and began screaming at me that I was rude and kids’ names are more than just a name,” she said. “She stormed out of my house after this.”
“She asked your opinion — you delivered.”
She then shared in her post that her mother-in-law and brother-in-law had been calling her “all day” to say she was being “evil and rude” — and that she needed to apologize to her sister-in-law.
“My husband agrees with me that someone needed to tell her she’s giving these kids ridiculous names,” the Reddit poster said.
But then she added, “I feel bad, like maybe I should apologize. It wasn’t really my place to say anything.”
The expectant mom ended her post with these words: “I’m so sick of her mom-shaming me.”
A lack of respect
The argument between the sisters-in-law says a lot more about their relationship than it does about baby naming, Dr. Jayme Albin, a psychologist in New York City, told Fox News Digital in an email.
The two women “clearly don’t respect each other,” Albin said.
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The psychologist continued, “When someone asks you [for your] opinion, first consider the respect between the two of you. How deep is the bond? How long have you known each other and how well do you know each other? That should [factor] into how much and how deep you go in your response.”
Albin advised people to “read the room. Read the situation.”
She added, “For example, if you and your sister-in-law don’t go very deep, then don’t get into deep conversations about how each [of you] should parent.”
When it comes to sensitive topics, Albin said it is helpful to ask the other person, “How far do you want me to go?”
She said, “I always recommend caution — you could always give more later — and you can also ask, ‘Do you want me to continue?’”
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The “baby name shame” was a hot topic in the subreddit, quickly garnering 1,500 comments in under 24 hours. One Reddit user bluntly commented about the women’s disagreement, “She asked your opinion — you delivered.”
Another person wrote, “My sister picks ‘semi-out there’ names. But she’s never once asked my opinion or criticized my kids’ names.”
“I told her she was naming kids, not dogs, and her kids are going to hate their names once they get older.”
The commenter continued, “Some people love their basic, common names. You cannot tell ahead of time. Do your best and roll with it … and don’t ask for input if you’re not prepared for a negative response.”
Many people on Reddit shared their own experiences with unique names.
One commenter wrote, “My brother’s middle name is ‘Brinn,’ and my dad’s middle name is ‘Brian.’ My brother’s second-grade teacher insisted to my brother that his middle name was ‘Brian’ and he was spelling his own middle name wrong.”
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The commenter added, “She went so far as to call my dad about it … Woo, boy, did he give her a piece of his mind.”
Another person wrote, “I feel this on such a deep level, LOL! My last name is only five letters, but there’s a vowel only at the very end.”
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The commenter added, “Every time I have to give my last name, I spell it out and [people] still question it. Then I get the dreaded, ‘Would you like to buy a vowel’ joke … Ugh.”